Sunday, July 5, 2009

Rambling About Relationships


  • Recently, at our ladies' gathering, I led a topic entitled, "Mothering Daughters". Now, I'm no expert on this subject; but I am an "older woman" with three grown daughters, with whom I feel I have an excellent relationship. As I considered this specific relationship, it occurred to me that the same vital ingredients are necessary in every close relationship: love and communication.
    We are told in the Bible that "we love Him (God) because He first loved us." This is certainly true with our children. They grow to love us, because we have loved them, cared for them, provided for them, protected them, nurtured them, corrected them....given ourselves for them. Love may be demonstrated in many ways, physical contact, being one important way. Touch releases endorphins, which produce feelings of well-being and security. I get mind pictures of mothers nursing their babies, toddlers being rocked and stroked at naptime, holding hands to pray, a shoulder rub after a long and stressful day, a lingering hug that says "Your heart is safe with me". Love and respect and trust are so entertwined, that it is difficult to separate them.
    Communication takes time. As it relates to our children: Deuteronomy 6:4-7..."when thou sittest in thine house, when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."...In other words, being involved in the day to day activites and talking while you work, play, observe, and learn together. Honest communication builds healthy, edifying relationships. Be free with praise, free with confession and apologies, and occasional constructive criticism; admit your own fears, admit that you don't always have the answers; but that you care enough to search with them. Laugh at yourself, expose yourself, be "real". Respect should permeate our conversations, not condescending or impatient tones and interruptions. One of my favorite verses about how we should speak is found in 1 Corinthians 14:3:..."to edification, and exhortation, and comfort." We must learn to see the constant stream of opportunities to "speak the truth in love" through everyday experiences.
    Every soul with whom we have the privelege of crossing paths adds to our character and our journey and we impact their life as well. I want to view each relationship as an opportunity to "grow up into Him in all things, which is the head, even Christ; from Whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love." Ephesians 4:15-16
    As we build relationships in this lifetime, we are building our relationship with Christ and His body for eternity. What could be more compelling?

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